spread your wings and fly

merry christmas and a happy new year

2011-12-28T09:07:00.000-08:00

It has always been nice telling the freshman prior to entering surgical posting. Yes, i am being ironic. i kinda enjoyed looking at the uneasiness facial expression, while telling them," Welcome to Surgery!" with a poker face. Some fake themselves to have bigger balls by saying," Bring it on! i cant wait to get experience from surgical posting." Well, their balls wont be large enough for too long. They get shrunken after one week or two.. Yes, i am that bad. =) As always....

Well, i have just left surgical posting last Friday. It ended in such an awesome way that, exams finished at 10am, and all the afternoon classes had been cancelled, with addition of a supplementary christmas holiday on Monday. Life cant be better! For sure, i celebrated. Nothing excessive, but literally wasting my time like a boss...

i had plans to get my revision done before the sessional examinations, right before i get occupied with workloads from Obstetrics and Gynaecology and Medicine department. The lazy effect has been dragging for too long. This cant be continued for long. It has to be stopped.

Done with laziness, i hv got no excuse to squander my time anymore. This is a golden opportunity to get myself occupied before getting hectic again.

This is just a brief update. ciao for now!

Merry Christmas and a happy new year for all!

12/12/2011

2011-12-11T09:15:00.000-08:00

Padre Pio said :" Love is the first ingredient in the relief of suffering."

What a nice saying.Recently, i have been really troubled with which is the path i should be heading to. Im currently in the 5th week of surgical posting. This is a physically and mentally challenging posting. Words cant describe the mental depression i have been through. Im glad that God has heard my prayers.

Once i became that timid and tried to run away from the troubles, but not to face it. She, asked me to move forward, and dont look back, and know my aim and do work towards it. She asked me to ignore the scoldings, and she believe i can make it.

Whenever i felt troubled to do revision, I would start thinking about the sufferings. At least, let me start preparing myself by understanding the principles of medicine, so that i could provide them some relief to them in days to come.

Some compliments are reassurance to me. At least i know, all the while, i was kept an eye, not being targetted. "Keep it up! Dont lose track!" was what i told myself after that compliment.

Well, i have to admit that surgery put me into the seriously study mode. A way i m really experiencing myself like a doctor.

Exams are hitting in the coming 2 weeks, before i leave surgical posting in 3rd year. I shall do my best. and i wil do it nicely, beautifully.

Life is good

2011-11-26T06:15:00.001-08:00

It's really been some time since last family reunion. Today was a perfect one. Long since we members of Tay sitting down and had a good meal together.

I hardly had any idea why the past one week was relatively slow. I was looking forward to weekend, very much. A break at least, just a brief moment to breathe in deeply. I had precious moments together with my family. All were back. The very last similar scene was 3 years back. Somehow, the family reunion recharged me to a functional energy level. A brief break, made me to believe what i used to believe in.

we all have grown up. Brothers were talking about how tough life at work can be, how much troubles they have encountered in life. At a glance, i noticed my dad's grey hair, and the wrinkles on my mum's forehead. we just cant go back the old times anymore. We often neglect the fact that, when we are busy growing up, they are getting older.

The fading photos are now memories, where the 3 of us cuddling around mum's thigh, and daddy was always the cameraman.....

Life is good, when u pause for a moment, you wil realise it is..

2011-11-22T08:27:00.000-08:00

Ever since i hv entered surgery posting,sleep time is severely deprived.it's hardwork dei!true enough.. The ever first posting back here in melaka i really hold a book to whereever i go in the campus or in the hospital.the good part is,the posting really restrain me and put me into study mode. Getting serious abt work and get a little tense while doing work.it's a good change.

At times,i felt disheartened.by mean criticism.tat demoralizes. But,i just recalled smbody telling me,the life will get harder,but dont lose heart. The fact is hardwork will eventually pay off. I shud really stop thinking abt those negative stuufs.dei, look bright N be positive towards ur work. U hv one major goal,tAt is ultimately become a competent doctor by the time u are called a HO.让我相信这一句智言，＂皇天不负苦心人＂。一分耕耘，一分收获。＂

the Prof

2011-11-21T04:12:00.000-08:00

The Prof approached us, the new batch students, and reminded us to get prepared for the workshop topics in Friday. wholeheartedly, he gave his sincere advice on learning medicine. Despite his other side of sterness, he really gave me the idea of wanting us to be good doctors. Today, my respect towards him is raised, and i start liking him more. Well, the adrenaline was still pumping fast whenever he comes to us during bed-side teachings. He is just full of his aura. I know he is a nice man.

Blue Blue Blue

2011-11-20T01:06:00.001-08:00

I hv been wondering why Monday blues seem so remarkable since start studying back in Melaka. Its Sunday invasion always make my sunday remarkably dull and gloomy. Well, this makes Friday interesting and worthy looking forward.

Surgery was survivable so far. The legendary Prof seemed nice. Behind his stern and strict standards, i see an angelic heart, that starts making me liking this prof. There are a thousand of reasons that makes ur adrenaline pumps faster than usual in his class. And there are a thousand of reasons that makes you start liking this old man. Here the chinese words, 敬畏 comes to explain everything.

It's Monday again. Here starts the learning progress in a hectic pace.Fuh, what a weekend! Nice and tender.................what a rainy afternoon, soothed my gloomy Sunday.

pseudo-penguin day

2011-10-25T20:29:00.000-07:00

Firstly, i thought Community Medicine will be a much flexible subject compared to others. Secondly, I realised what i thought about Community medicine posting was not that way. Thirdly, i realized my second thought is true. So, stop the crap and i should start doing my work!..... may be awhile later.........

Presentations, and presentations, and presentations!! A little bit extra or diff from what i used to do is, im presenting to the public.... It should be done in a correct way and carefully presented, because the public might take our advices into daily practices.

It's Diwali Day, what a nice public holiday!! A pseudo-penguin day is how i called it. Slacked the whole Tuesday night. In fact, i watched a motivating movie, " Patch Adams " for doctors and medical students. The take home message i got from it was "Practices make good doctors, and recognize patients by names.

Happy Diwali to all =) Have a great wonderful fruitful public holiday!!!

Melaka postings

2011-10-22T03:30:00.000-07:00

It's weekend! I call Friday penguin day, it always gives me some relieves from daily tension. Internal medicine is still fine, but not the never ending work of it. In Malaysia, it is compulsory to take moral studies in other to have graduated from a university. Simply because they think you will end up being a saint after memorizing 36 moral values and puke them out during exams. yea, i know! WTF right???!!!

Medicine is overflooded with workloads, now here comes the moral studies, and malaysian studies, brilliant! what to do?

I will be going for community medical services on Monday. It's kind of exciting for me. well, another reason could be, this posting probably is one of the easy subjects for the moment. We will have more time for ourselves. Surgery comes after which i could not bother much about that first. enjoy and master my public health postings will be my priority for the moment!! =)

Malaysian patients they are awesome. They are so much more cooperative and informative, which makes our history taking alot easier compared to when i was posted in Manipal. So far, the patients i have clerked, they are easily approachable. some cases were quite sad. Best wishes to them...

prayer

2011-09-26T07:13:00.000-07:00

Lord, Thank you for hearing my prayers...

I have a prayer to say, AMEN...

沉淀

2011-09-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

心情，像沙粒慢慢的沉淀下来，少掉了动荡。
黄灯影下，慢慢的丢失了喧哗的精彩。
喜怒交加的停歇，提升了对人的智慧。
现在，象科绿叶，另处落地生根，唯求出人头地。

沉淀，沉淀，沉淀..........
让心情沉淀，只让浊水，重现清澈视觉.....

Keep trying

2011-09-23T12:21:00.000-07:00

"No matter how difficult your life is, no matter how challenges and obstacles are hitting you; you must always tell yourself," you always have one more round."

This is a very meaning yet encouraging phrase that i would like to share with everyone else. Keep trying!

Things to be remember now and then (sept 2011)

2011-09-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

Nearing the end of this amazingly awesome vacation, it is kinda weird that i am not flying back manipal anymore. This vacation is an awesome one, i enjoyed throughout, watched four movies, and going to have the fifth one this Friday. One last movie before my Phase 2 actually starts. zero book touched. Maximum time spent on the bed. and wow, i am really wasting oxygen.

We have heard a lot of stories from seniors about how phase 2 is going to be. Horrible enough. Gladly there is one senior that told me," dont trust those rumours, live out your own phase 2, things are not going to be in those exaggerated ways." I believe, no matter how it is going to be, i will have my own way to sort it out. The wise-lady once told me, this is going to be a part to train myself to be a good doctor, and hard work will definitely pay off. I like this wise-lady, it's always been nice to have talked to her.

I walked to my living hall, looking at my family portrait. i have a great father, outstanding elder brothers, a lovely mother, and a fast-learning younger brother. This family is good, there is nothing the TAYs cannot do.

There are several things i learnt in this holidays:
1) I auscultated my grandpa, and wasnt very sure what did the findings interpret. Lesson learnt, remember what you learnt. Medicine is a 24-hour-art(you might need your knowledge anytime, anywhere).

2) My dad said this to me," clear you doubts and problems as soon as possible. It gives u psychological-comfort.

3) my north india trip.... Keep yourself updated, always. Keep your faith, and there is God always, don't try to challenge this fact.

4) my deared one assured me. that i need to remember the reason why i chose medicine years back. Do not deviate from medical ethics. To treat a patient passionately, and to use my knowledge learnt beneficially.~Remember, Hippocratic Oath~Firstly, do NO harm.

5) No matter How Reality hits me, or how the outsiders judge me wrongly, do not fear! For they do not know what they are doing, and they know me too little to judge..

6) My dad treats me like an adult." come have beer and peanuts with me!" he said.

So, i told myself "earn yourself some respect to be an adult."

7) Do not procastinate

8) "Get free PTPTN loan! so, get first class honours! i know you can do it!" dad said..

It's all going to be brand new days. Phase II,I will pawn you!

Melaka, here i am!

Bye for now, Manipal!

2011-08-19T05:57:00.000-07:00

Enjoying the last few days in Manipal... a little bit quiet, a little bit lonely, but it certainly worths mesmerizing.. 2 and a half years taught me things more than the 20 years i had lived...

This is not exaggerating, not bullshitting. From medical view, yes, i felt i learnt more things than ever.. Dont be surprise by this fact being a med student. However, on the other hand, i learnt things which are non-medically related.

One most important thing is : The more knowledgable the people are, the more humble they are. This might be one of the phenomena that differs from Malaysian culture. Now, this is what that makes me so fascinated about in Manipal, and i certainly will adopt this spirit in my life. Be humble, as u go higher.

Manipal, is a very own town of her own. She has her own lifestyle, own pattern. In other words, with interaction with malaysians around Manipal, you will get to know, whether he lives in manipal or just a tourist that chose to visit Manipal. Not much can be told, unless you live here, then u will verify what i said.

There are a few lectures that i would like to thank them. Ms Daphne, my mentor. She gives me support, and assured me when i didnt really do well in the first 2 sems in Year 2. Ms Debashree, who always shared my problems in times of real stress and doubts, and helpful, approachable, friendly and being a beautiful lecturer of course =)(extra credits for this,hahaha.. what else to say? she is awesome!!=) Mr Vinod, who i didnt manage to take personal photo with him for the last 2 days. I think he is on leave. He who told me exams are just marks. The important thing is you learn something from the exam, and he was the one who told me, "you are a winnier always because you have tried."

Thanks for all. Thanks manipal, and you are going to make me a doctor one day! A successful one!

Good bye Manipal!! you have become a chapter of my life's story, and i hope that my life will be a wonderful novel..

flashbacks

2011-08-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

I helped a friend who is inconvenient for his mobility for the moment, settling his clearance procedures from Manipal campus of MMMC. On the way in submitting those documents, i was astonished by how fast the time had passed. I was walking on the same road submitting and settling my entrance procedure 2 and a half years ago. I remembered i promised myself to make a good start, and continue to strive throughout the 5 years, as i knew in getting the opportunity into this medical school wasnt easy for me that time.

I remember i prayed hard to get the results that qualified the baseline into medical schools. It was not easy for me that time, because i didnt do all my best during STPM. Then, i got qualified. I remember i prayed hard in deciding to take medical course. More often, i believed, it was not me who decided to have entered medical school, it is the Lord that planned. Keeping this in my mind, this became my faith in dealing things in this medical school.

i always knew my father is a great man. I am now an adult, i should know what im doing. No one is responsible for my future, but myself. Responsibility is the main thing that i should take up.

It is nice to have flashbacks from time to time, as to renew my faith, to reset my target, and to know where i used to stand, not least to convince myself how i used to believe and to be brave enough to accept the challenges.

R.E.A.L.I.T.Y being a med student

2011-07-28T16:27:00.000-07:00

A patient's son screwed us because a surgeon was explaining to us at the bedside, after the surgeon left.The Reason being that he didnt understand what the surgeon was talking about. Of course he couldnt, because the surgeon was explaining to us the basis of treatments. If he could, what for i am spending 5 years in a med school? A friend of mine said," He screwed us simply because we are student. He could have done that in front of the surgeon."

uhh, being a medical student, is being at the lowest ranking of this health care system hieraki.............You may not respect us for the reason of lacking experience, but respect us as learners. Please do not screw us for nothing.......

Manipal

2011-07-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

Today was the 3rd outing of our batch in Manipal before we officially go back to Malaysia. It is a series of outings organized by our batch people to roam around this university town. This semester ends on the 18th of August, which means we are going back in a month time. This is a different one. We always knew we would be coming back this place again with a bunch of friends. However this time, we knew we won't. I doubt if i ever have the chance of coming back here again. Even if there is, things will be different. 人事已非。

Mixed feelings. I remember how reluctant i was whenever coming back Manipal after vacation. NOw, i reluctantly to admit that my studies in India is coming to an end. Autos, hornings of the cars which can be irritating sometimes, greeting the natives with "Namaste" " Namascara", showing our gratitude with " taniawada", all these will remain as a part of our memories.

The grocery shops which i usually hang around to really waste my time after intensive study. All the nonsense that i had done here shall be left here.

Still, i am craving Malaysian food =) So, lets not be too emotional about this, because i am kind of looking forward for the days back HOME = ) i can even grin in my dreams.
Manipal, you taught me the spirit of persevearance, the real essence of self-confidence, to be a real optimist, and a real learner. I will be applying all these that i have learnt in my life, no matter where am i going to be.

Manipal, a place that i have grown up.

一言精明

2011-07-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

今天在午饭时间，在医院闲着没事，聊起了过去，那带着我前往今天的道路，选择医科的那一个志愿。每个人的背后都有一段故事。一段把他们带进医学系的故事。有些莽莽撞撞，有些为了完成父母的心愿，有些为了出人头地，有些持着一股热诚。不论是否是自愿的，对于那些进入这科系仍然尽全力去做的，我是打从心底的佩服，因为他们为自己负责。

HIstory taking是一门学问。半年过去，我并还没完全掌握那精髓。我心里一慌，不甘愿就此认输，势必要把这学问学好。
在医院里，case presentation的时候，常常被医生批评。总是又做不好的的地方。加上语言障碍，让交流困难加剧。我必须承认，我曾经怕了，没去面对，反而逃避去修炼自己history taking 的技巧。但是，逃得了一时，逃不了一辈子。我朋友告诉我，我们只是个医学生。这阶段很自然的对着技巧都掌握的不好。但，我们必须去做身为医学生能够做到的。换句话说，尽全力去做，别逃避，把握学习机会。印度是一个巨大的病例博物馆，所以必须把握机会，去接触，去吸收。

困难重重，却尽量自己扛。大了，自己该清楚自己的任务和责任。报喜不报忧，变成了一种习惯。22岁的天空，别人说时的了完全的自由。我却说，是对自己的天空负责的开始。一切，由自己开始去实行，去完成。

我的一个朋友在电话里，点醒了我。我们是成人了，该有自己的想法，不要人云亦云，不需特意讨好别人，不必过于在乎他人的判断。最重要的是，知道自己该做的事，懂得分自己的priority。

靖勋，你心里有没有个心愿？有没有个目标？对未来有没有个憧憬？
我的心愿，我确定我有。
我的目标，我放的很高，更新过的目标。
我对未来有美好的憧憬。
我知道，这一路不易走，会辛苦，会辛苦，会很辛苦。。。

靖勋，那你怕吗？
我不怕！
那你还怕什么？？！

可怜的阿婆

2011-07-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

看了这张照片，我心一寒。感觉就像我的外婆笑颜出门，狼狈而归。相信她的家人必心疼不已。那孤独的身影，一身湿漉漉沮丧的脸，除了同情，我心尽是一片怜悯。

这次行动竟牵连医院，让病人惨遭惊吓之忧，这实在太不人道。

见仁见智。

Supremo Ball 2011

2011-07-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

The Supremo Ball is an annual event that gathers the MMMC's people as a farewell for the senior batch that is finish their studies in Manipal. As for this year, it is meant for my batch. In September, my batch will be leaving Manipal to Malacca for the second phase of medical degree. It was a "looking-forward" event for the past 2 years.

As things are getting more interesting in Manipal, now we are leaving the place. what an internal conflict i once had.

The ball was fun, innovative and certainly deserves a big applause. me and the gang dressed like mafias, to suit the theme, " Bollywood on air". Errm, well, it is abit deviated, but still bollywood stars they dress cool smtimes,i guess... As i said, to be a friend of Benny Lim, we had to be prepared of all kinds of crazy stuffs that stun the crowd that certainly going to be a part of the bed time stories for my kids.

A girl sang for the event."Born This Way" by Lady Gaga. I knew this song long ago, but i never really into it, until i noticed the lyrics this evening.

" we are all born superstars","Im beautiful in my way, coz God makes no mistakes"

We all are unique in our own ways. I witnessed the talents from the performers. They may not be that good in studies, but they rock in their gifted talents. There always wil be some point why you outstand others. Don't underestimate yourself.

Another two months and i will be back home. Time flies and two and a half years are just too short sometimes.

It was a nice ball and i enjoyed it pretty much.

医学生的叹息

2011-07-01T12:16:00.000-07:00

狂追了香港的黄金电视剧《妙手仁心》。故事描述医生的生活。大多数的描述，我都未曾体会过。但，有一幕描述一位年长太太对实习医生的质疑，甚至是嫌弃。这一幕，我有所感触。

由于本身还是个医学生，在医院面对病人，经常遇见比较不愿意合作的病人。他们知道我们是学生，常常显出一副质疑的模样。说实在的，令人难受。在为病人做体检时，有些病人会突然站起来上厕所，或是吃午饭。医学生，听起来威风，却被贬得一无是处似的。有时候，我在想，在印度都能出现这样的情况了，更不用说是在马六甲医院了。更多病人受过教育，更多类似的体验吧？

从facebook那看了我老师的生活照。有他们年轻时当实习医生，甚至是医学生的旧照。今天他们都成为了专科医生。这些对我都是一种无形的鼓励。提醒我说，每一个成功的医生，都曾经是不起眼的医学生与实习医生。别害怕，多给自己信心。从外科部教授那，学来了这一句名言。

" we earn a living by what we get; but we earn a life by what we give."

为生活，我们努力赚取些东西；为生命，我们必须付出和给予。

FB

2011-06-26T11:14:00.000-07:00

Im an actively inactive facebook user. I do not post things vry often, but i do check people's status from time to time, and click on those notifications. Lecture slides, notes, will be posted and published via facebook. So, getting a facebook account and being an actively inactive user is a must, as to catch up and update myself with others from time to time.

I realise that Facebook is a social network. People get connected from time to time, even with long lost friends. hmm, not bad. The interesting part of facebook is, we get to see their status. Some post about their feelings, some put a quote on it. I too, sometimes, update with my status. I usually post some awesome quotations, which some ppl might find it lame. haha, well, just to share something. Certain group of ppl, condemn, criticize, or "scold" their friends via this network, with hiden meaning, directed to "some"body, which, tat somebody may not even know he/she is being condemned. So, what's the point of doing it? To fame yourself? and some fools will write under the "comment" column, and start playing their role as "batu api".

Facebook is really an awesome social network, and somehow, users are that capable to make it REAL funny... ^^

雨后小道

2011-06-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

步行离开那六层楼高的图书馆。昏黄的路灯和雨后的路面，捎来那过去两年半的点滴起伏。曾经，把图书馆当做我第二个家，总是和朋友相约温习功课。

岁月悄悄带走单纯。在外地，多少得学会自立根生，多少得醒悟警惕。自然规律，不理！

敬佩自己曾经的坚持和那不认输的态度。庆幸低落时遇上贵人，在旁指点迷津。成绩上上下下，生活起起落落。曾经怀疑自己的选择，最终仍然相信主的安排。

很多时候把时间稍微挪开，为自己留下些些空荡，反思当初的医学执着。在环境的影响下，难免会忘了当初的理想。仍然记得那无国界医生的梦想。现在想想，也不知自己是否真有那能力，突破那体能与毅力的极限。

我相信他的指引。坚信他的安排。我仍然满心相信那不知何处来的想法---”既然他给予机会，把我带来，他就一定会陪我，带我度过这一切难关。“

竹，后生而高，亦坚硬也。千磨万击还坚劲，任尔东西南北风！

Exposed to surgeries

2011-06-11T12:25:00.001-07:00

Just a brief update regarding my posting in the department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology.

This is the first time i enter operation theatre, withnessing the ongoing of sugeries. Yes, it's "surgeries", 3 surgeries since 10am until 2pm. Hysterectomy (removal of uterus),removal of ectopic pregnancy ( implantation of fetus in the Fallopian Tube), and Caeserean section ( delivery via abdominal and uterus incision ) {well these are not the exact definition,but they mean what i mean,haha }

I see the patient's anxiety before the surgery(proven with the Heart Rate over the monitor screen),hopefully it is not bacause of our presence in the operation theatre, i wished i had encouraged her before the operation, or even a smile will do.)After all, the surgery is removing the mother's kid for the pregnancy, i don't think there is any mother would smile for that.

I find surgeries are fascinating. It's all about skills, and experience, and of course knowledge. I admire Dr Urala's surgical skill(62 years old).He is fast, accurate,and with neat sutures,with minimum bleeding.
Suddenly recalling a quote."In anatomy,seeing is believing." I understand human anatomy better after witnessing these surgeries.

Wishing the patients recover well, and healthy. Not least, may the baby grow up well and healthy,and be a filial son.

" HYSTERECTOMY "

" ECTOPIC PREGNANCY "

" LOWER SEGMENT CAESEREAN SECTION (LSCS) "

You deserve when you trust yourself

2011-06-09T14:09:00.000-07:00

The fascination of landing of the plane wouldnt be that much when there is nthing to look forward after twinning over to my own place in another 3 months.

it's been long since i last chatted with him. I recall the days when we studied together in the study room of the hostel, til morning 2-3am. The time was hectic indeed. In doubts, he encouraged me and there is certainly alot of things to learn from him.

I met him in the library this evening. Full concentration was given in whatever things he does, and he managed them well. He is of all rounder. I would say he deserves it when one day he made it to the top and leading in the profession.

I used to boost up his confidence before any distinction viva voce. This is the epic quote i used, " Go and grab what u deserve, and make malaccans proud!" ( No offence ^^)

p/s: work hard and grab what you deserve! For anyone who believes in himself/herself in whatever "crap-like situation", you deserve it because you choose to trust yourself!

coming to OBG from paediatrics department

2011-06-08T13:27:00.001-07:00

Currently in Obstetrics and Gynaecology department. The first day was blessed, and managed to learn something. Dr Urala, who addressed us as children, really earn my respect to him. Previous groups who were exposed to him, complained about his strictness, however, i find him like a strict father who wants his sons and daughters to do well by disciplined ways. A bad teacher isnt he who punishes when u make some mistakes, but he who is not willing to teach.

switching posting from paediatrics department, i keep reminding myself to do better in this clinical posting, after being taught by Dr Vinayaka, who is a role model of mine.He says," medicine is all sweats, and there is no shortcuts." I remember he encouraged me after my terrible case presentation of a patient, i knew i did it terribly. He taught me to be self-initiative, self- motivative, and believe in hardwork. He is a young paediatrician, who said, a doctor who doesnt practise is not a clinician. Through experiences, makes good doctors. I seldome had the chance to have a nice talk with him. i certainly do not know when i got these messages from him.over his teachings, his actions perhaps. His spirits is not going to be limited in paeds, but throughout my struggles in this profession.

paediatrics department postings

2011-05-31T07:49:00.000-07:00

stepping into a more medical related department, i found tat clinical practices are not that simple compared to wat i imagined earlier. "The eyes canot see what the mind doesnt know". If you are a medical related personnel, i believe you would understand and could not agree more with this quotation. We all see how a clinician would examine any patient,but without firm basics, "palpation" will be just an alternative word for "touching body parts", "inspection" would mean nothing but "judging based on external appearance of the body".well, sounds bit "hamsap"...=P

finishing psychiatry and community medicine, we were to be described as freshman in the clinics. we know so little things of clinical methods, that we are being condemned by the doctors, and life in hospital seems to be unpredictable that we do not know when we are going to get "something" from the DOCTORS. Anytime, anywhere... Anything or any answers you attempt worth a second thought. I somehow miss how my year 2 lecturers encouraged me to answer in class, and gave us the green card to make mistakes.
i love this quotation still"make mistakes while u r still a student.you have no excuses for mistakes when u are practising". This is what the microbiologist, Mr Vinod always told me. I appreciate it so much.

Travelling to Karkala, i often use that 45 minutes travelling time to think who am i going to be?and i used to encourage myself on the journey back after a bad day of scolding from the doctors. 就算全世界斥责你，你要要鼓起勇气相信自己，为自己打气。

我依然很喜欢这一句对话：

”你怕吃苦吗？“
”不怕！“
”那你还怕什么？！“

hippocratic oath

2011-05-10T05:56:00.000-07:00

I happen to read about hippocratic oath, which is an oath historically taken by doctors swearing to practice medicine ethically.It is widely believed to have been written by Hippocrates.In another 3 years, if things go smoothly, i will be taking this oath, and start to practise what ever knowledges or skills that i have learnt in the 5-year-course.

This is the famous hippocratic oath :

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:
I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.
I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.
I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.
I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.
I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given to me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.
I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.
I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.
I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.
If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.

生病的启发

2011-04-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

来到了第二个clinical posting- community medicine,却老实说，并无太重的压力。学长都说SEM 5 是比较得空的。但这样的清净，并不是真正的清净。在空闲中，想的事情却特别的多。好像认认真真的学学新知识。
我报名参加了All India Medical Student Conference : Gastroenterology and related diseases.不知不觉中，在医学系混了两年。学然后知不足。越是学的深奥，越是觉得自己离真正的医生水准太远了。

想在参与那WHO CONFERENCE 之前，好好地重新参考，参阅相关的资料，做好些准备才去抛头露面。否则懵懵懂懂的去，实在是太浪费机会了。

在电影SPIDERMAN里，有句话说得再好不过。"Comes greater power, comes greater responsibility" 医生的责任胜于所身负的名誉吧。总不能，嬉皮笑脸，得过且过的，傻傻混一混医学生涯。

生病一场后，觉得生活有时还真的会很寂寞。得自己撑着无力的身子，硬吞着那苦涩的食物。再一步一步软弱无力的，把吃不下的剩饭倒去屋外的大垃圾桶。半夜，撑着那热腾腾的脑袋，为隔天的试卷做最后的准备。再无助，也得咬紧牙根，撑下去。觉得就快痊愈时，却又再发烧。再一步步走到车站，独自的去到医院等待，看病。在排着长长的人龙付钱，买药。短短几天，也瘦了两公斤。嗯，瘦了，也不错，算是好事。哈！

有时觉得埋怨又如何？最后还是得面对。沮丧有如何？最终问题一样不能解决。
以前，我是会埋怨这又抱怨那的。但我慢慢的学会了，忍一忍，继续面对挑战。
从哪学的？从我爸那学来的。。。。。

我姓郑。做事堂堂正正，踏踏实实，尽好本分，挑起责任。

天伦乐

2011-03-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

没什么事比天伦乐美好。

i remember with packets of liquor from the duty free shop of LCCT, i walked out to the arrival hall. I saw the grinning faces of my parents, and the little skinny boy had grown much taller than i last saw him. I then remembered my words before leaving for india 6months ago. Im happy that i didnt let myself down.

Time flies, and the 4-week- sem break has now come to an end. There are certainly things to be recalled. The last 6 months in Manipal, i thought it would be easy to leave home back to India without much emotions. Now, i know i was totally wrong. Leaving home is never a happy event.

Likewise, i got some "wahyu" during this holiday^^

- The lord has chosen me in this field for some reasons. The bad things happen for some reasons that we canot foresee them

- My deared person has never left me. I know i will be doing great because she is wonderful. I enjoy the moments with her, because i am who i am. I knew i love her that much, because i got worried when fever got her. I know she is the one when we prayed together, I feel God's love.

- My daddy loves me as he always does. My mummy adores me as she always does.

- The stethoscope i got makes me one step nearer to be a servant. To serve is the vocation.

- I paid RM30k for the fees. The class is stil on. Sem 5 is not a honeymoon semester!!! i have got to learn something, grab any learning opportunities possible.

- A steamboat dinner with my family is more valuable than any other meals. Jogoya is a feast for the stomach. A family reunion is a feast for the soul.

- It's time to lose some weight before the patients ask me to do so.^^This is so ironic.

- To make a good start, begin with day 0.

Manipal, i will embrace you the last 6 months we will be having together.

moments at home

2011-03-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

Whenever sem break reaches this period, this is a time when i seriously start packing my holiday mood. This is when i have recollected "me" i used to be, knowing clearly that i am deared, i am precious, and my call for the path that i have chosen.

workloads and obstacles often blind our hearts and the enthusiasm to complete the vocation.

- I am certainly NOT the best, but i will try my best.
- I am certainly ordinary, but i will make my work extraordinary

There is a quote which i love it so much, here it goes " success is temporary, failure is not permanent ". I rmb i quoted this from a senior one year back, who appeared as a gold medalist.

6 more days back in India.
Seriously enjoy the moments at home.

Thank u, Jesus

2011-02-26T05:02:00.001-08:00

Whatever it is, all have come to an end. After struggling and striving for nearly 6 weeks, of tears and tensed nerves, the moment i have been waiting for is just few more hours to go.

The lord held my hands tightly that i could feel that he was so near to me, and enjoyed his blessings.

All of my dreams, my hopes, i give thanks to u..
Thank u, Jesus Christ, my lord

2011-02-21T20:51:00.000-08:00

In India, Girls play in the playground; Boys they play cricket at the other corner. They do not mix and play together...

忙碌

2011-02-21T05:20:00.000-08:00

考试的疲惫，几乎把我榨得干呼呼的。
理论试卷不知不觉的画上了句点。
我松懈的毫无戒备，像是忘了藏在石缝后边的计时炸弹。

过分的怠惰，却让我发觉，我不喜欢荒芜颓废的生活。
曾几何时，习惯了忙碌的生活，厌恶了无所事事的享受。
我为生活劳作，我也为劳作而生活。

“ 三日不读书，便觉面目可憎。”
真实智慧之言也。

Simply some thoughts after 2 papers.

2011-02-14T01:17:00.000-08:00

Had two papers for the past few days... Seriously, this is the most terrible period i could have ever imagined and experienced. Never had such stress and adrenaline before... Imagine, you have 4 blocks' stuff to cover, but at 7.30pm the nite before exams, you are just half way thru the first block... Im pretty sure my adrenal glands had been working real hard for these few days.

Two theory papers down, two to go. Here comes the ironic one, MICRObiology, but the MEGAbomb!!! haha..so, don look down on those small things, they crash ur soul..

I sincerely thank GOD for the guidance these few days. Im sure He will stil guide me thru the way.

ciao people, gotta fight for the last 2 theory papers, and wait for the pracs, and I will be going home.........

爸爸

2011-02-05T11:10:00.000-08:00

老早，就想写写我身边的人物，一一地用心记录。原本，想等到放暑假才开始，但今天却有股冲动，想把这我生命中最为重要的人写下。我的近人想必都知道，我生命中最重要的人就是我爸爸。

从小，我就莫名的跟爸爸比较亲近。我想，我是被爸爸抱大的吧。在弟弟还没出世之前，排行最小的我，总是小鸟依人。看见爸爸，就要抱抱，一直到一年级那年，爸爸说没力抱我了。小时候的记忆比较模糊，只记得我总是喜欢跟着爸爸的旧摩托到处走。哪怕是到杂货店买个面包而已。年轻时的爸爸总是在周末带我们出游，还记得我们一家人一起去钓鱼，我这小小冬瓜，就在湖边东奔西跳，现在想起来，还真是不知死活。哈！

一年级那年，我在育民小学就读。那时候的一年级是下午班制的，而我是搭巴士上学的。记得有一次，放学后，看见爸爸在门外等我，我记得我非常的兴奋，因为爸爸用私家车来载我回家。我记得第二次看见爸爸又放学来载我的时候，我笑着问：”你为什么又来载我？“我记得爸爸答了我类似的话：” 因为你喜欢咯。“之后，我就笑着，牵着爸爸手上车了。

上了中学，我都跟爸爸分开上学的。很多人都以为我跟爸爸关系不好。其实，我只是不喜欢被学校老师认出，那教中六的化学老师，就是我爸。我就是不喜欢身为老师孩子的压力。

记得SPM成绩放榜，我考的没我预期的好。幼稚的我，竟拿爸爸来发脾气。我当时多么想上中六，想好好的做一番成就。开始我是真的很努力。之后却堕落了。我清楚知道，那时候，在我背后，那么多的老师在投诉我，那么多的师长在批评我。但，爸爸总是以他的爱，野蛮的保护我。我不知丢了他多少的面子，这是我一路来对他的亏欠。我尽力了，最后，我真的尽了全力。至少，我把个化学A送给他。我记得考试前我常跟朋友说，” 就算我其他科目fail完，我都要在chemistry拿A。“

成绩不够理想，我没法进入本地大学医学系。爸爸知道，医科是我的梦想。没办法，他愿意出钱让我进入私立医学院。为了补贴家用，他甚至每星期三，从马六甲，到东甲给额外补习。这事是我在上个暑假才知道的。

爸爸是一个，有苦自己扛自己收的人。他绝对是一个好爸爸，好丈夫。要好好的写爸爸，还真不止这些。有些人在我面前批评我爸，听了很恼怒。在我心里，他是抱我抱到一年级，天天准备早餐，叫我起床，给我鼓励安慰，默默付出，疲惫微笑的父亲。谁也没有资格批评他。我也会野蛮的保护他，像他那时野蛮的保护我一样。

我会尽全力，再次尽全力，把成绩交给你！

rabbit is coming to town!

2011-02-01T08:54:00.000-08:00

It's already chinese new year eve of 2011. Despite of preparing for bulky examinations, i call for a break to give an entry about this special day.

I had always been grumbling about the need to travel back my grandparents' house for the gathering and staying overnight. It is a dusun, and you can imagine there is nothing much to do over there, besides TV. The gap between cousins is really big, and we could hardly get a thing or two to chat about.

However, today, being abroad, preparing for final examinations in this joyful celebration, returning granny's house is the most fascinating thing i could ever think about. I do not know why, but i certainly feel this way.

At this moment, im sure my family are cleaning the house, doing last minute job, as usual. for the past 19 years, i took the initiative to help, feeling excited about the coming event. i enjoy putting new year cookies into the jars, but i think the cookies i put into my mouth was more than the cookies into the jars.

Not least the visiting day on the 3rd day. Eng Cheng told me the group is getting smaller compared to last time. Well, people are leaving, growing, this is something that we canot do. Perhaps, someday, we will stop doing the visiting.

Chinese New Year, lets not talk about sad thing.
Wishing you a very happy chinese new year. Have fun, have joy.
It's chinese New year right? So, chinese letters should not be left out

恭祝各界，
新年快乐，
身体健康，
学业猛进，
兔年，要扬眉“兔”气！！！

祝我，考试顺利！
恭喜恭喜

奉献

2011-01-24T12:06:00.000-08:00

星期天的礼拜弥撒，刚晋铎的神父在宣道时，说了很多话。其中有一句，让我深思反省。

他说：我们每天都很努力地去追求去实现世俗的目标与成就，有没有将灵修的生命壮大呢？

说实在的，在弥撒中，由于他们的乡音，我是很少会听明白他们的道理，那一天，这却深深的烙印我的脑海里。从信仰的角度而言，我相信这是天主对我的话，给我的牢骚吧。哈！

一步步的追求完美，追求梦想，追求成就。曾几何时，我慢慢的不再坐在床头前低头默想，不再奉献自己给天主，不再赞美他所带来的好与坏的事情？曾几何时，学会抱怨，学会责怪，不再事事心存感恩？

感觉好像慢慢的就快忘了当初选择医科的初衷。

主，赐予我医科洁净坚持的心。
主，我信赖你
就像一颗小皮球，放在你手心里。

”你们先该寻求天主的国，和他的义德，其他的一切自会加给你们。“
我将心打开，奉献给你。

Fireworks

2011-01-23T01:21:00.000-08:00

I wasnt aware of the lyrics of "Fireworks" by Katty Perry can be that meaningful.
I would just like to share the lyrics, and check it out on youtube yourself...haha

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that tehre's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Katy Perry Firework lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/katy-perry-firework-lyrics.html

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Count me in this game!

2011-01-15T04:23:00.000-08:00

Landing of the plane is the most fascinating stuff that i have ever experienced.
The moment after u have collected ur luggage, and you are seeing your parents waving at the arrival hall with your trolly heading to them. You cant help but to smile and in your mind, there is loud scream :" Yes, Im back!And i will have a good rest."

Back to the reality, im just starting my one-month study leave for the finals in February. So, to cover all the syllabus of nine months within 4 weeks, honestly, it is never enough. No matter what, i know, I am going to do it.. Keep believing. HOw much i love this quote.

Im going back in another 6 weeks. I believe the feeling will be so good. Its time to get well-dressed for the finals, and to get ready for the reward that comes after 6 weeks. Im in this game! Im all in!!!

2011-01-11T13:40:00.000-08:00

may be i should do something nice..

ciao

2011-01-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

Having exams tomorrow, but there is a nice saying i would like to share out.
Just a brief update that i like it so much...

是的,是很多人为钱做坏事. 但你要厌恶的是这种行为,而不是厌恶钱. 厌恶钱,不见得一定是高贵的. 钱就像武侠小说里的武功,可以倚之為惡,也可以拿来做很多美好的事. 如果拒绝賺钱,那就像拒绝练武,不是不可以,但可能要想好: 一旦遇到武功强的坏人來欺负你, 你的对策是什么? 【康永，给残酷社会的善意短信】

What my friends think about me

2011-01-01T14:38:00.000-08:00

Recently, there were alot of posts regarding describing friends, under a secret number ranging from 0-5000 from the facebook.
haha.... Eagerly to know what few of my friends think about me, I sent my requests to them. Surprisingly, the responses were quite positive...hahaha...

I would like to share with the readers.

• ‎can't recall when I 1st talk to you, can't even remember how we 1st meet. All I know is we're close w/o noticing. I really love ur nickname alot. You're a mature, thoughtful and friendly person. You don't judge someone by their appearance & action but you observe and keep it to urself. You know ur priority well, advance towards it and clear off every single obstacle that is blocking ur pathway.

• Dear 1313, honestly, i'm happy to get to know you. You always produced good results but yet maintained a low profile and eagerly help others when they needed your knowledge. Definitely not a show off! N you're also a non judgemental person with an open mind and a happy go lucky attitude.You're funny and well liked by everyone. I'm honoured to be your friend!! =D

The comments were encouraging.Im sure there are some negative qualities about myself, just that they gv me face..haha....thanks for that...lolx
Thanks for the assurance, i appreciate very much.

Like what Zie Wearn said, new year resolution : To be a better man

Good night pals...
I welcome any thoughts from you, my friends, about how you think about me..

1.1.2011

2010-12-31T12:46:00.000-08:00

As the year 2010 comes to an end, my 2nd year's lectures too, ended smoothly, other than some minor revision classes and clinical skills workshop.

The beginning of the year always gives me an inspiration to live better, do better, and start doing better.

I do not hope for a better year to come, but a better me to emerge and face the challenges that are yet to come. I remember i made the wish last year, and absolutely i will be making this as my new year's resolution again.

1st Janurary 2011.....i can do it.

blogwalking

2010-12-28T12:42:00.001-08:00

The nearer to the exam date, the more often i have the urge to blog.
Blog walking is a nice thing to do, that i wish i could have more time for that.
Besides enjoying the art of literature, blog entries actually provide a chance of mind-reading.^^. From various aspects of an individual, eg, dominants of the bloggers, lifestyle, thoughts and a little bit of maturity.

some entries just make me feel better, some are like ignitions of ideas and guidance to my problems. Some entries reflex my thoughts few years back.

Some people never change, they are still the same^^ From the way they blog about the first sentence, you know what's coming up for the next few paragraphs, not exagerating at all^^

haha..anyway, these are my points of view about my blog walking experience.No judgement made, it is all about wonderful different human nature...haha..

Good night pals...

quote of the day : Make plans a reality, and accomplish them wholeheartedly, and get the ecstacies of accomplishing something...

2010-12-27T22:43:00.001-08:00

christmas

2010-12-27T11:52:00.000-08:00

The short block 4 is driving me to double up my speed in doing things.Well, i had to so that i didnt miss some extraordinary gathering like the christmas party which was held last saturday. It was unforgettable, and i learnt things about liquor from that particular night. Well, no worries, i didnt get myself drunk. Just had a sip or two, in the manner of socializing.

A friend of mine got drunk and we had so much fun because of his "drunk" speech and behaviour, he was totally out of his mind, and im the one who sent him back...haha...Well, Doctors still hold strong to the fact that, excessive alcohol consumption is harmful to the body..

Spot the one who is going to be drunk....hehe ^^

I got a tweety bird dummy for the christmas present...haha....Frankly, i knew it was going to be something related to birds, as i received a cute canary for my 20th birthday, and a live mother hen for my recent 21st birthday, which was later made into satay...

Cute little tweety bird which i got as my christmas present
together with me and Reena

another 4 days more to the year of 2011..New year resolution???
ermm, to improve more in the aspect of personality, perseverance, and enhanced self- confidence..^^...which by all these, others shall be added onto..

Hehe, i had smart new year resolutions..
Good night pals..Tomorrow is gonna be a better day.Keep believing!!

Arwin = Edwin ????

2010-12-22T12:09:00.001-08:00

Sometimes i could find funny stuff happening in my daily lives in India, may be because of the different cultures and lifestyles that we have.

I had a conversation with a coffee stall's owner.Conversing with him using some simple Karnatakan( Manipal's main language), we both felt that it was interesting.Before leaving the place, i remember we conversed as such :

Me : yea boss, so what is your good name?
Boss : blah blah blah....(it's too long to remeber by the way)
Me : Nice to meet you boss.
Boss : what is your name then?
Me : Edwin
Boss : ohh...Arvin???
Me : No, it's Edwin......
Boss :ok....Arwin
Me :err, EDWIN( trying to stress on the D consonant)
Boss :oooo... i see....Arwin
Me :yea...that's right.....................=.="( You arsehole!!!!)

i left the place with a grin^^
haha...I find it amusing in my way..and i would like to share with you^^

2010-12-21T13:09:00.000-08:00

Got back my exams paper today... After attempts of struggling, finally saw the fruits of it..

Setting up new target, and i am going to achieve it. It never feels better than achieving something that you set it so high and you slightly doubted it.

Enthusiastic about grabbing the stars. And make it my very own.

Recalling the vocation of the profession, one steps nearer i am to the pagoda.
It is better today. The best is yet to come...

It feels good, and it is getting better, and will be better.

2010-12-19T12:19:00.000-08:00

There's nothing special to blog about, merely to give in some updates to the blog.

Well, at least i did something beneficial today.Prepared for the test tomorrow.
Unintendedly, heard a vry familiar songs, T-shirt by shontelle.. A catchy song 2 years back. I remember i set it as my phone's clock alarm. So, you could imagine how much i hated the song once upon a time.=)

Time flies. Right?
It feels like i was here yesterday, and now im finishing my second year.

Just some random thoughts.

Quote of the day : Carpe diem

Yes, i did it today! It's getting better now...^^

Merry merry Manipal !!!

2010-12-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

I had a nice weekend, thorough break.

It was an occasion organised by the Malaysian Student Association in India, which gathered almost most of the Malaysian students abroad in the south west part of India, The so called, Lagenda.

The cultural performances were splendid and fascinating. However, what made me looking forward to it was the ongoing Malaysian Food Festival along with “The Lagenda”. Alright, my body size should have told you about that.

We had a great time visiting different stalls selling Malaysian cuisines, like satay, Har mee, tang yuan, Ramlee burger, cendol, tau fu fa, egg tarts and sorts, exclusively made by the Malaysian students. Well, they may not taste as perfect as the local Malaysian delicacies, but they were indeed some heavenly food for us. We enjoyed the night, enjoyed mingling around with the friends, while cheering for the talented performers.

As the time is passing perfectly fast, we are going back to Malaysia for clinical phase in the coming September if everything goes smoothly as we wish they would be. I hate to admit it, but still I would say Manipal gives me pieces of memories, the good ones or the bad ones, they equally constituted to my experiences of lives. Manipal had taught me the way to interact, the colourful of success, the pain to be paid off in order to gain something, the dos and don’ts of social interactions, the reality of life, the perseverance in doubts, and self-believing together with self motivations at times of loneliness, all these together I call them, independence..

Growing up is never easy. Apart from being disappointed by the reality, still we need to believe the fairy tales of our own, that is our capability. No matter how a situation would be, the quote must not be distorted. “I am the master of my own. I can do it!!”

Somehow I have this thought, just to share with you guys who wish to spend few more seconds on this.

Fairy tales do not happen in real life, but it must happen in our own lives.. We can lose our trust to the surrounding realities, but we must never stop believing. In short, really short,^^, that is---- 》Keep Believing.

Good night folks…wishing you a very pleasant Sunday and a wonderful week ahead….
Remember, keep believing!

2010-12-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

Enthusiasm
Self-confidence
self-motivating
fiable smiles
extraordinary greetings
knowledge application
sensibility
tactfulness
disciplinary
independence
neat appearance
health conscious
non-sedentary lifestyle

ATTITUDE

19.11.2010

2010-11-19T08:40:00.000-08:00

有时候，冲动直流而上。
对于无助的有无辜的病患，有说不出的怜悯。
这又仅仅只是个工作如此而已？
我称不上为救人生命那一般神勇，
只想区区的让他们知道有人陪伴，
至少还有希望

我许下至真诚的心愿，
但愿这一颗奉献的心终生不渝。
但愿这一颗心坚持到底。

独家时间

2010-11-13T13:28:00.000-08:00

忙碌的大学生活，有时还真不容易抽得少许的时间宠一宠自己。
这空闲时间，不必特别，无所事事也一样很美。
莫名的寂寞有时候会涌上心头，让心一寒。
曾经的幼稚，会让自己勾起嘴角，不削的笑讽自己。
过去可贵的天真与真挚，不禁令人感慨现实的丑陋。
那有过的竹子般坚韧的精神，我也为之肃然起敬。

过去，已经过去。
今天，天空依旧蔚蓝，机会依然存在，生活一样得过。
让寂寞随黑夜而去。
我喜欢空空荡荡的独家时间。。。

Professor DRUGS

2010-11-09T08:27:00.000-08:00

So far, we had already completed the learning objectives of pharmacology for this block. Fortunately, i would consider it as, our professor took the initiative to give us lecture on the Pharmacotherapeutics, which actually helps to train us the skills of prescribing drugs to the patients based on the conditions. Our batch being the pioneer batch of this module, i enthusiastic to learn drugs more clinically.

We had a clinical scenario of pectoris angina, which is a condition of chest pain due to reduced blood supply or extensive cardiac workload, generally caused by hardening of the blood vessels supplying the heart...to alievate the symptoms, a list of drugs is given, and we had to choose the best drugs with least side effects and most effective to the patients, and so on.

what caught my attention was how our professor ended her lecture. She ended it with a tragedy when she was an intern.

" A child was presented to her with heart burn, which is a vry misleading symptoms to the diagnosis of GERD(gastroesophageal reflux disease). She prescribed the child with antacids, and admited the child for observation. the next day, the child died. The reason behind that was because the child had missed his drugs to treat "pectoris angina" ,and comes with presented heart burn-like symptoms.From the scenario above, she emphasize the importance of history taking and competencies that a doctor must acquire in this profession."

This somehow really inspired me to work harder to prevent tragedies happen.

The professor too, told us, by prescribing the most appropriate drugs, eradicating the inflictions of the patients, that could really make our day..

That was a really precious lecture that i had ever encountered.Thank you, professor.

2010-11-07T13:32:00.000-08:00

A fulfilling day
with work done, at least
a blessed day
to realise I have always been blessed
His promises never failed
and is stil going to be fulfilled

A magical sunday
the beginning of the week
a beginning of real life

a quote

2010-11-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

Don't look back and regret;
Don't bother yourself with what is lying ahead of you,
Start picking up your steps, and you wil reach there somehow.."

By Dr Alan Tay( Proudly to admit that this is my brother)^^

yea...start picking up my steps and i will reach there somehow...Doctors never quit

Happy Diwali

2010-11-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

I remember i had my deepavali visiting last two years back.That was Anand's house, a close indian friend of mine.

In India, the people celebrate Deepavali, more commonly known as Diwali...we, a group people of 11 visited our lecturers' and the dean's houses. Without being formal, we feel the kind of humour, down to earth from them despite being the stern, and serious professors or masters in degree...We took the chance to ask and gossip everything we always wanted to ask..Like where they are from, from where they are graduated from, how is their ssalary, may be their ages????lol..... priviledged to the young and pretty lecturers perhaps....^0^

From their life style, family, The way they interact with their family members , we found the reasons why they are being successful now..Bits of everything made them who they are today..

It was indeed a delightful Diwali visiting sessions.Though it lasted for roughly 2 hours, i have to admit that it was pretty enjoying to have interactions with the lecturers so closely, and chit-chatting other than drugs, biochemical reactions, and arguing about the doubtful key answers from the exams.

Not least, Happy Diwali to all!!!!!

Picture

2010-11-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

This picture is showing an eagle and a dying little skinny child with observed poliomyelitis and severe malnutrition, perhaps kwashiokor syndrome...

This picture gave me an opportunity to remind myself, every chronically infected patient is like the little kid shown. It's either we take the child, or the eagle will take it... we are hving battle evday.. Thus a competent skill is required, and this is the time when we work out to ensure we have the little kid in our arms and embrace his little life...

limitations are beyond

2010-10-28T12:38:00.000-07:00

what a hectic week!A week full of workloads and one come closely right after another.. Thank God, i would sincerely say.i had gone through these, peacefully, smoothly, and in good credits...

At times of difficulties, only we realise our capabilities dont just stop somewhere. We may excel beyond our limitations that we set up for ourselves. Please dont! our limitations dont just stop there..

Endure and be calm, even at moments of anxiety. Nothing is done well under panic,and things would be in vain.

Trust and trust, whosoever u wanna trust in.

These are the few things i learnt from the hectic week...

p/s : i think my english standard is becoming worse.......this is sad....

7 reminders within 5 minutes

2010-10-18T08:38:00.001-07:00

1) when there is trouble, people's fingers grow longer. They love pointing to each other.
2) Hardly people change. So,dont bother giving a second chance. they change when you leave them no chance...
3) It is not that people change comparing to when u first know them. It's just that, you know them better, and that is their true self.
4) Keep to urself when damage is done. Shouting, condemns, yelling wil not change the destiny. you change it when u do smtng to it.
5) There are people really enjoy 落井下石
6) Not every "sorry" is responded with a "oh,it's ok."
7)No matter how hard you feel, discard it aside and continue with your tasks.This is EQ.

HEY,5 sc 1 dudes!thanks for ur birthday wishes!!!

2010-10-14T14:04:00.000-07:00

My birthday started with a stinky bash,which is a ritual in Manipal.Perhaps, only restricted to my batch.Kind of chill as this ritual is expected.

Had a phone call from Zie Wearn and Jong Yi. They are Old friends indeed. we witnessed the changes among ourselves for more than a decade.It is a precious friendship which i always want to embrace it whole-heartedly and sincerely.

I Did not fail to receive birthday wishes from my secondary classmates even though i change my birthday info to 18 Oct in facebook if you noticed. They are the ones, who we used to share our tears and laughters together. I quoted this from Zie Wearn, "the secondary classmates are the soulmates which we will never have it again for another chance." I agree with him and i believe they too agree with this.Though, we never had any birthday bashing sessions,but we enjoyed our birthdays with celebrations and hand-made birthday card signed by the "sun yous"...the cards are adorable..

Life moves on,and we too moved on.We pursued our dreams and are apart now but i believe everyone of us had the best memories with in GBS.

Thanks for your wishes my dear friends. My 21st birthday is memorable because of your wishes, even though i am in INDIA..you guys ROCK!!!!!!!

Thanks,and stay healthy always^^

JING SHIN, the voted bottomless pit in the class megazine "The Nomads"(oh, i cant believe i stil remember this!)

some thoughts

2010-10-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

Here,it is a very competitive place which gathers genius type of people,the gifted ones.They are gifted in such way, they work hard, they try hard to strive.They understand well, and they memorise stuff so clearly,by which this skill is a prerequisite in health science medical field.

When competition is there, it gets a little bit tensed up here.People are doing great, and having high self-esteem.On different points of view,they try to prove themselves right.So, they try to prove you wrong,which can be pretty ironic.Sometimes, the words are quite offensive and discouraging.

At times, i was discouraged, and doubted myself.Self esteem level went down markedly.It is not a good thing though.

Fortunately, i am blessed with an adorable family, loved one, close friends who trust me so deeply and always stand by my side.
Why bother about those who do not value your virtues, but forget about those who really care and think you can?what a fool was i?

Even the pace is slow,we go,and do not we quit!Fight for the people who think you are marvelous. For those who shit on you, we dont have to prove them wrong.we just need to prove to those people who adore you,their belief is a rightful thing.

It is your life,shape it for yourself.the people who do not care,they never will.

"friends" Tv series...i just love it

2010-10-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

Does the "Friends" Tv series stil ring a bell when i mention it? That is my childhood famous comedy that i could hardly understand wat it was all about.But somehow i remember the 6 funny people in the show with its characteristic theme song^^I believe the song made my days...

years later,i am watching it again as my way of relaxation.Fair enough, it makes my day out of exhaustion and burdens of workloads.

Had my first presentation of the semester. I feel good for the word "GOOD" from my lecturer. It's been a while since such compliment was heard,months back perhaps...and the compliment does motivate me to do better. no one could understand how i need that compliment badly.

It's weekend again,and it is going to be a fruitful one.I assure myself. Yes, it wil be. And the coming class test is going to be another praise to myself.
^^People,dont feel bad reading this post..alright,i promise i wil try to be a better blogger.

2010-10-04T00:11:00.001-07:00

back to MANIPAL

2010-09-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a week im back from malaysia.I rmb we, a group of 9 people traveled back manipal from bangalore by train. It was a splendid experience,however, i don think we would want another experience of that ever again.The railway station was crowded with people,while we were hving our luggages which each of them weighted around 20-30kg.so,you can imagine it was an uncomfortable journey.With vry little space of the cottage provided, we had to bear with the limiting space, and the freezing cold air conditioner without sufficient blankets.finally,we got thru the 10 hour-journey.

The life back in manipal had been as expected.same routined lifestyle, with hectic workloads even for the first day of the class.Tensive atmosphere has begun fermenting.Most of the people work harder since the first day of the class.

It was a hectic week,but i believe I managed it well,and i hope this continues till the end.

Zie wearn,safe journey back to UK.....All the best in future undertakings.

things to be remembered now and then

2010-09-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

Few hours more i will be leaving my cozy sweet home, to India for my new semester.

An usual sem break as it seems to be..However, I have learnt alot of things, which i hardly have time to meditate during my hectic course.

There are several events that enabled me to recollect who i am today, where i am heading to, who am i going to be one day...and the courage i ought to have...

1) A chat with an old friend, who inspired me with such phrase
"你怕吃苦吗？” “不怕。” “那你还怕什么？”

2）A week spending with deared one, who reminded me whom i used to be...at the same time, i know i am deared.. I am somebody in someone's heart...i am worthy.

3)Two hours i spent with my grandpa. This reminded me, I serve in my profession.

4)A quote from my little brother..."kor, you are very GENG and pandai one u know?"

5)A quote from my mom," why did u assume it's going to be hard before u give ur best shot?要做就做到最好！"

6)A smile on my dad's face, when he looked so tired.

7)every Wednesday, i did not see my dad at home from 6-11pm.Then only i know,he goes to Tangkak weekly.

8)My dad gave us a treat of Kenny Rogers',on the day before i fly to India.

9)My mum said' "oh,54?The syllabus is getting harder i guess."

10)My dad put 100 bucks into my wallet silently...

India,here I come.

不小.......

2010-09-09T12:27:00.000-07:00

21岁的天空，我们这一代的年轻人都狂烈的庆祝。他们说，21岁是自由的象征，是展翅翱翔的开端。

不知是从哪听来的，自由不代表放肆。爸妈给你了自由，不代表你可以没了对他们的孝顺。

看过一篇文章，看的我直入心扉。句句如刺，看的句句心痛。

“如果你已經20歲了，你真的輸不起了，別再孩子了.....”多么透彻的一句话，多么足以让我如梦初醒。20，确实不小了。有了责任，有了负担。20的成年人，你不一定要支补家用，但务必试着减轻家里负担。

别再孩子了，踏踏实实，稳重，积极的投入你的生活。“你還年輕，先不說開始你的事業，開創你的未來，但你已經成年，至少也要讓自己不再成為父母的負擔，讓父母看到20年辛苦養育的希望。”

别为生活的现实感到绝望，那是生活法则，但终究你要学会相信这世上存在着“美丽色彩”，生活依然美丽。

不要被虚浮的绚丽迷倒，毫无去向的随波逐流。愛物質，適當地。永遠知道精神更重要。

“要原諒這個世界和自己。
要告訴自己，我值得擁有最好的一切。”

2010-08-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

小雨滴滴答答的，在黎明时分给我作伴。假期过了一星期。迷迷糊糊，轻轻松松，潦潦倒倒，在自家床过了7天。没像其他朋友特别到离家远的地方透透气，但就是喜欢家里懒洋洋的气息。

想想过去整个学期所碰见的人，事，物，确实有待加强学习的地方。犹记得当晚在机场看见爸妈额头上岁月沧桑的皱纹，一定苦了他们两老吧。

恰恰还有21天的假期。嗯。昏睡的感觉来了，我要去睡觉了。早安

世上有三样东西不能相信

2010-08-26T23:18:00.000-07:00

从FACEBOOK上看过这一句经典的语录。 ”世上有三样东西不能相信：男人的承诺，男人的感情，男人的理由。“

相信这一句话，对一些极端女性而言产生共鸣，甚至拍手叫好。我本身当然对此有所感慨。唉，又是一枝杆打翻整艘船的例子。无可否认确实有这么一群所谓男人。然而，女人当然也会有比较奇怪的种类。我不想再此掀起两性争执，只想单单的告诉极端者，生活上感情失意是正常之事，就如日常生活的喜怒哀乐一般。实施从自己的角度去观察，你或许会发觉，你也不时那么的完美。别把生活中的小部分锁上，这也直接的锁上了你对生活的正面思绪。

这句话像是多么无理，多么狭窄的语录。地球不因你而转动，太阳不因你而升起。别那么的自我中心。。。

2010-08-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

惺忪的将眼睛张开，躺在那熟悉的床上，望着空荡荡的天花板。。。温暖的家。。不需把保护色披上，不需担心别人的诡异思想，不必理会他们的心情。此刻，我属于我自己。

我厌倦了你对我的无理判断，对你的无理要求，我现在没必要去理会，因为，我依偎在我的避风港。

我的家。一个我想休息的地方。好想睡觉，让我这“男人”依偎，躲在棉被里，休息。

2010-08-22T09:31:00.001-07:00

zie wearn is in my room...heh heh heh....

2010-08-22T06:21:00.000-07:00

zie wearn blogged about me!!!!bangga!

2010-08-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

Year 2 screwed me up badly......

and holidays,im coming to you in 72 hours time...

2010-08-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

How deep is this exhaustion.....i feel exhausted...i feel like going home..Im tired of your fakefullness....

just another 2 weeks more...i shall continue this....never give up..well, at least, let me be healthy to face this...

the prayers of a weak

2010-07-19T12:53:00.000-07:00

In the moon freezing breeze,i shiver in my fear.
Few weeks to go home,and few weeks away from my exams.
I have been indulged,procastinating my undone workload,still, it is piling up.
i am trembling in the fear.The very first time in my second year,i am officially feeling the stress up to my neck.I feel small,and timid to face the challenge.
Lord,help me to face the obstacles together in a time.I am weak,but you are strong.
A word from your lips,and with your conscent, never shall i fear about.
I pray Lord,please send forth your spirit to unworthy me,so that i stand.

I longeth for a rest.A rest to know who am i to you to had called me here in one and a half years back.

Dear God,let me carry up the burden which belong to me.and carry them strong,under your guidance,in your glory.

Im weak,but only with a word,i will stand.

Facebook

2010-07-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

Facebook has become generalised.It seems that everyone is having an account,regardless of age,ethinicity,genders.Even the age groups of my parents',i am surprised to find out that they are more active than i do.haha...

somehow,after a long period of getting involved in this world,a delusive world,i would say,besides connecting friends from various part of the earth,it is thought to be meaningless and delusive.we are not seeing and knowing a person from the wall of his/her profiles.In other words,everything is manipulated,customised according to what the owner favours,to make himself/herself perfect as they appear on the page.

Facebook is time-consuming.It draws you apart from being focus on something.

Other than the informative sites or page which are considered exclusively useful for my studies,and aiding me stay connected to friends and family in my hometown,i could hardly find any other benefits from it.

Facebook,is progessively becoming meaningless to me,which i do not feel to squander my time on it anymore.fairfarren,facebook....

adrenaline

2010-07-16T04:48:00.000-07:00

I cant resist the adrenaline pumping within my body....

feel like seeing the rays of life..

get through it filling up with enthusiasm.............

im so high up in the sky....Can u feel it...

Hope this is not the effects of cafein....

grumbles...are u willing to read wat i grumble about?

2010-07-14T13:03:00.000-07:00

it's been a long time since i last updated my entry..erm,i have another 36 days more and i will be home..it should be a cheering thing to me,however,the homework and the suffocating studies always stop me from imagining the moment stepping on my own country land.

Have been wondering why did i choose medicine at the first place?nothing,just wondered about it,but,i have never felt regret about studying the course.It is a fascinating subject.I enjoy gaining knowledges about human body,germs, diseases,drugs..No doubt,it is pretty fun.

However,i found myself changing particularly in second year.I start doubting my own ability.I am soaked with negative thoughts,which,it is a real bad thing to mention about.Really bad.Well,i would say,in medical school,too,you cant afford to be pessimistic.

A friend of mine told me,this happens in most of the medical students.perhaps,this happens to the students of other faculties as well.self-doubting....Once in a while,just like menstrual period???haha...well,may be not so often.

Why would i doubt aboubt my own capability?may be because of the never-ending self study in second year?perhaps it is more facts-based over concepts-based in second year?

i remember i saw this article,written by Dr Chua Soi Lek,if i am not mistaken.I recall he agree with the saying that,during the first year of medical school,smart students are crowned.when come to second year,the hardworking ones top the list..

whether it is true or not,it is just an opinion from the former doctor who participated in politics later.well,it doesn matter to me,whether it is hardwork OR naturally gifted.As long as,you,medical students,have the passion being a doctor.

Doctor,sounds nice...But all these are just temporary.This faking glory will not take us far.The sincerity to the passion or calling as a healer,does...more accurately,we are not healers,we are just people who bring hope to those in despair..

Doctors' mind are complicated too.Trust me.Im so disappointed to find out this.Perhaps,im just feeling tired,and needing a companion or two,to walk with me along this path,who share the same dream..And,this is terribly hard to get one...

Thoughts before the sun rises as the beginning of the week,and of the mission

2010-06-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

"Little Wonders" a song by Rob Thomas,i recommend to all.An inspiring song indeed.I remember a movie called"Meet The Robinsons"The reason why this movie stuck in my mind is because of a quote from it,"Keep moving forward".what a simple phrase,it somehow inspired me to hold on in times of depressed and of self-doubting.

As days gone by,years pass thru,i have grown up,and start missing the sweet and happy moments i had gone thru.The life in church gave me the best memories i had ever had in my life.It is now too far beyond me.The cozy saturdays in church.and i spent a great time with friends.it was where i found my innocence back in years.

The value of a good server,is the value of humble.another 9 weeks and back home i go.with added perseverance,and superadded blessings from God,i shall survive the trials with growing passion in medical field.

Let go buddy.whether or not,your coursemates have the passion for the profession,u can do nothing of it.However,at least,you can make ur best effort,to bring hope to the patients that are coming to you in another 4 years time.

God,grant me a humble heart,so that i serve.

Not least,Happy Fathers' Day to all fathers.while to my daddy,i wanted to say,you have always been a great daddy to me.I remember i disgraced you,but you encourage me to get back my honour again.thanks daddy.I love you.

不知所谓的牢骚

2010-06-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

蹉跎不知所谓的时间。是我太情绪化还是我太幼稚？小小事情就把我弄得心情杂乱。以后紧急事件，我还能镇定施医吗？

记得这一句话，”你已经是个成年人了，你有责任清楚自己在做该做的事。“

小小阻碍，我就大大牢骚，岂能成大事？这只不过是个生命的小小玩笑，它没把玩笑闹大，就代表我还有另一道出口。

卡通

2010-06-12T11:15:00.000-07:00

沉重的眼皮依然瞪着小小的电脑荧幕。刚刚结束的小小聚餐庆祝会，算是慰劳一下考试期间的压力吧。
晚饭后，大伙儿聚集在房间里，对着小荧幕看看戏说说话。无意间，我上了you tube,和大家观赏了一段短短的片段，POKEMON....哈哈，这无心的点击，竟成了大家的共同话题，勾起大家的童年回忆。原来，我那年代的小孩，都是看POKEMON,玩POKEMON长大的。原来，这卡通都陪伴过大家。

而，这无意的发现，并不在于POKEMON是如何的受人欢迎，而是在谈起童年回忆，朋友们各个脸上都流露出相当的怀念与快乐。从PIKACHU到CHARMANDER,然后SQUIRTEL,再来BUTTERFREE,也少不了PSYDUCK...哈哈

朋友，你什么时候开始忘了如何开心的笑了呢？是当你不再追看卡通？还是当你开始意识到了自己对生活的责任呢？

蹉跎的坏习惯

2010-06-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

在电脑前面，平凡的过了白白的一天。

正处于考试期的我，不是该埋头苦读准备考试的吗？莫不找任何的头绪。不清楚自己怎么能够这样无厘头的荒废时间。

原定的计划，就好像从水底浮上来的泡沫，“噗噗”声的灭了。
傻笑着，怎么我那么有本事让冲劲飞到九霄云外？
或许，开始觉得疲惫。要让自己的怠惰稍微的发酵。

午夜时分，开始恼怒自己的不争气，没纪律。
蹉跎时间，再也没有比这更难过的事情了。
电脑荧幕上的座右铭，“In any given moment,you always have to power to say: "no,this is not how the story going to end."

好飞一般的座右铭。我想就连我自己也知道我这万事成蹉跎的人，需要这么一句激励之言。
别再恼怒一去不返的时间了。休息吧！明早开始，一起加油！改变故事的结局。

optimistic or realistic?

2010-06-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

here are some meaningful depicts that i would like to share:

some thoughts...

2010-06-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

A day to block exams,and i have come to wonder why is the need to be competitive?

I compete with myself.
I make sure i complete my task.
I know what i have learnt and to whom i am doing this for.
I know the clinical part wil be different from theoretical part.
And the passion i need for the patients.

why is the need to compare yourself with others?while you have no idea what their life is going to be...

I have come to realise that, do things for the sake of myself.It is my responsibilities to shape my life.

brief update

2010-05-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

weekends are restful to me always.they are days all of my own.^^

nothing special happens recently,but life has always been hectic as usual,and i guess the readers would not want me to tell how stressful i am.haha,may be they got irritated of my this kind of writing over the life in india.^^

A quote,how nice it appears to me.
"Sometimes being kind to the world does not make the world kind towards you =) Be patient and smile in the face of malevolence by others will save you tonnes of energy and time from questioning the ever-imbalance justice."
Life?How to define it?i will not want to act like a philosopher and proudly say"yea,this is how life should be"haha..........all i noe is,the value of life is very subjective.

counting down the days going back home..according to shawn,we stil have 91 days to go..duh,a long journey though.However,i already start missing the delicacy and i didnt even bother when i was back home for the last holidays..funny huh?

start recollecting the motive im here.A healer,this is price to pay.and i nvr forget how much i longed to be in a medical school.Thus,i shall enroll myself to the life tat ppl find it tough.

14 days to block exams.Prepare well,and do it well

2010-05-04T12:12:00.001-07:00

For you my dad,i rmb u tapping my shoulder and tel me,"my son,i know you can do it"in the night of a ordinary Friday,when i was struggling up with my STPM stuff.

For you mum,I rmb u told me,"yes,my son,do everytng u can.try ur best.and that's the best."

For you my brother,james,i rmb u telling me"Hey bro,when stress comes to a limit,the limit is a break for you,and after recharge,u will do better"

To my family,im always the best to all of you...Thus,for you,i will not stop marching forward,i will not be afraid,and i will be brave.For obstacles,i will fight!

improve but not to lose yourself

2010-04-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

Life is short,isnt it?after attending 2 autopsies within 3 days,i feel how volatile human life can be...the corpes seem to be just some objects,after their last breaths.And i start appreciating the phrase,"It is not the years of you life that counts,It's the life in your years."

人固有一死，或重于泰山，或轻于鸿毛。

People,do things while you are still given a chance.Go beyond your expectations,and be dare to fail,and compete in a correct way.While chasing your dreams,don't lose yourself,and you virtues.That is the saddest thing which can happen.You earn everything,but you lose yourself.

9/4/2010

2010-04-09T04:33:00.000-07:00

有时候，不是我已经放弃，只是想诉诉心中闷。不会想放弃，因为我没有放弃的勇气。

梦会不会太累，会不会太远，又会不会太不顺心？傻瓜，我一直都记得这一句话 "没有人能够随随便便成功"

太多阻碍又如何? 爸爸说，人生就是这样。每个人都觉得生活是个挑战。

曾经看过这一句话，”上天是公平的，因为他对每个人都不公平。“

有时很想念，以前一个人骑着脚车到处进修的生活。一个人，却始终都不感到寂寞，倒蛮享受风吹吹的感觉。

不知为何，最近总感觉寂寞。拼得寂寞，等待总是寂寞。

我不是文学作家，不会下笔如有神，不会让文章变得有血有肉。不会画龙点睛，画蛇添足倒蛮有天赋的。

也好喜欢，上网看看马六甲的风景，有着一些些亲切的感觉。也有些”家“ 的感觉。

千万里的距离，也好多的无奈。

fishes???

2010-04-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

Had 3 hours of Pharmacology today,and im feeling like being Anaesthised by those BOMBASTIC drugs' names...Anyway,i dun remember much about the names of the drugs.It never matters much to me in the class,because i have no time to know the names during lectures.

lignocaine, propanolol, diapezam, chloramphrenicol.....blah blah blah...who cares?haha,but one of the examples mentioned in the class i know it well,that is paracetamol(panadol)...haha...

And i rmb this from the class..The young lady lecturer said,"For the excretion of the drugs,they get metabolised, transported to the intestines,and mix with bile secretion,and lastly excreted into "fishes".....what???i was stunned and full of question marks at the moment,wondering how drugs are related to the "fishes"....
After further explanation,only did i understand it,the pronunciation of "fishes" supposed to be "faeces"....

Ma'am,please pronounce it nicely...fishes are much tastier than "faeces"....

another weekend says bye bye...

2010-04-05T13:02:00.000-07:00

For a reason or two,people start counting the days left for the next vacation...around 130 days,they said..unbelievable rite?we actually just back from vacation for the first 2 weeks and people start missing home so badly.to be honest,i am one of the people.

The 4-days-easter break have passed before i realised it.Again,another unproductive holidays..Yet,the enthusiasm of studying,is nowhere in the heart.It's another time race,as usual.I need a brief break,not to rest my mind,but to receollect the reason to be here..The sad thing was,yet,another unproductive weekend.it is sad to know that.

Dream or reality,i couldnt distinguish btwn these two.I'm so exhausted.unlike which i used to tell in the past.this time,im so tired of being slumber.well,It's time to wake up buddy.The wonderland is over.Complain less,and do more..since i have chose the life likewise,i will continue it likewise.

hey,dude..thanks,because you have just wasted 5 minutes of your life for this blog entry.haha.

first week of the school of the second year

2010-03-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

it's been a week since i came back for my second year course.The course at first was a bit foggy for i wasn't too sure what was being covered.days after,im glad i started to adapt to the new life.It was a big bulk for the first week's work load.procastination never works,certainly for second year.i hope i get rid of this bad habit as soon as possible.

dont look back and regret.though its been some time,but i always find the quote useful in reminding myself,dont look back,step forward.

It's time to wake up perhaps.im back.no more holidays.well,for another 5 months,i shall miss every corner of my home.every member of my family.the garage,the balcony,my bedroom..i may even miss the KANCIL i used to drive out and wander around the recently fast developing malacca with a homey heart.

at the moment,im going to plant some trees for it to bear fruits and bring it home.again,to make them proud.Dont look back,and believe..everything is going to be new again.freshly.by the time the sun rise.

dear jing shin.have a good rest.everything starts anew.God bless me and god bless jia min..

2010-03-20T15:44:00.000-07:00

everyone in the street has a story to tell,what makes him/her the person he is today.
when love,be brave enough.
when u hate,get away from it.
when family's there,hug them.
when u noe wat ur doing,be glad with it.
when u did it,stay to the ground.
when u fail,stay to your will
when u cry,wipe it off and stand
when u smile,give a sincere grin.
when ur hurt,dun stab back.
when ur reading this,it's quite smtime since i post this...>.<
Be happy.and,ya.love yourself

2010-03-20T15:39:00.001-07:00

school starts tmr...just be cool.

2010-03-17T16:23:00.001-07:00

I miss you

2010-03-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

I miss you

2010-03-17T16:03:00.000-07:00

just read through the last blog entry i had posted,it seems like a dream,a sweet and short one.I cant imagine,currently,im sitting in front of my laptop again,in the bangalore international airport,waiting for the next flight in the morning,on the way back to manipal.

The last 3 weeks were a heaven to me.Indeed,i enjoyed a lot.meeting friends and people,family and the loved one.Deep to my heart,during the last holidays,i kept telling myself,treassure every moment with anyone back in malaysia,your home.i did and i tried to capture every moment possible with my old model nikon 5100 and my adorable sony ericsson T700.

it just flashed over.Like it never happened before,the vacation came to an end.Reluctantly to wake up from the wonderland dreams.Missing my girlfriend so badly. looking forward to meet up my friends again.Not least,missing my family before the plane set off.

A trip back home,made me realise alot of things that i wouldnt have time to think of in manipal.A trip back,i hv learn myself back,the source of happiness that probably i have missed in the last sem.And i have learnt that,how important she has become to me in life.i have learnt the responsibility that i have to build up for my future.

Im no more a boy.everything starts from my hand.I,too,like everyone else,set a target for the second year of my medical school life,and wil try to accomplish it.To be totally excellent in a field is ordinary,but,to achieve a balance in all field,is advance...

The older i get(not too old though),the more i learn the beauty of a BALANCED LIFE.

Once again,i had to say that,good bye for the past one year..I made a satisfactory achievement.These achievements are impossible,without your true care and love.i would like to devote this to the one who matters so much to me,Yew Jia Min.

so,wish me all the best^^once again,edwin is in the "INDIAland">.<
hoping for the best.^^

attaching a photo^^hehe...i miss you alot..

first day at home...

2010-02-20T05:02:00.000-08:00

It's weird...but,I officially start falling in love with my medical life...nerdy... and restless life....

perhaps,in restlessness,i forget the unhappy stuff...I put aside the complicated situations...name any of them...i think i would appreciate them...

My first day at home for this vacation,was filled with hope...i was looking forward for it though i didnt express it much...But soon the hope turned to be worries,exhaution,may be some remorse and disappointment...

who am i?what are the aims for life at this moment?i start seeking for myself again...it hurts...yes,it does...

this is a random post..too random may be the readers---you,do not understand..well,i blog this for my own sake...

I am not a descent one...may be im just too coward to be one...but,i know it's real.....The heart always assure me that it does...

my mind is so tired now...may be for a 50 hours it nvr rested properly...
things appear so blur....i wanted to rest...but the numb feelings stop me from that...

i love to be a diary walker...to any place...so random...want to set my soul free...
this is so random...i just blog it for watever it comes to my mind...

Dear god...im tired even im free...lay me in ur arm please...

2010-02-14T09:20:00.000-08:00

i thought i have finished my exams until now i realise i still hv 3 more days to go....

happy chinese new year...

2010-02-11T11:40:00.000-08:00

Dear friends..this is a greeting from me,with lots of regards..wishing you a vry happy chinese new year..a tiger year that i still remember..

it's been weeks since i last updated my blog..Well,been busy with my final exams..well,at least now the theory papers were over...left the practical part..it's a relief that i hd nvr experienced before..well,wat's done is done..

it's 12th feb now..3 days to reach chinese new year right..memory just flow back like river..remember still,since form 3,we had been launching our CNY visit..ing without fails...each year,things changed...someone got new partner OR someone just broke up...may be some people got some scolarship..some were doing well in studies..no matter how was it,we gathered in this vry special day,this vry special event for the past 6 years...3rd day of CNY is fixed for our own gang..i loved this day...it's a day of laughter,harmony,friendship,respect..what matters most is the GATHERING...

This year,im so sorry that i will miss the visitng..but no matter how few people gonna be there,hope u all will enjoy the visiting,the GATHERING...through this,friendships is built...and sun you becomes more sun...^^

there always something to pay for growing up...perhaps i would say the price is the happiness of being young...and the priviledge to celebrate CNY as adult will nvr have the chance again...

This is just a random post..may be the last before i go back malaysia for my vacation but without the chance to meet all friends..Still,wishing u all a good TIGER year ahead...fight like a tiger,be brave enough,bold enough to fight for you dream...

with lots of regards,
edwin jing shin
12 feb 2010
1.35am(indian time)

3rd Jan 2010

2010-01-02T11:47:00.000-08:00

This feeling numbs me.. It begins recently,and I couldn’t know why..
2010,a new year begins,and I reflected back the ups and downs in the past 2009..
To me,it was a sharp bend of my course of life.. Like facial nerve, how it bend sharply, forming geniculate ganglion, it marked how my life changed..

In university life,I learn, I felland I rise again.. I observed, I got disappointed and got tougher..
I had no idea, when I start missing my young age so much(well, I stil consider myself young now)
Memories flashes...Istart to understand why mum always said“school life is the best part of your life”

Life is full of trials. We always hear people saying this. No life comes easy. We see the glory part of a person, we never witness the tears when they had to shed alone. Quoted from a person’s blog,
没有人能够随随便便成功(there is no success without hurdles)。I define success in this way, “ to have an aim, to work for it, and leave it to God to decide”

Reading friends’ blog entries is a warm thing to do. It makes me feel at home..It makes me feel Im part of Malacca, somewhere in the street of the small city. Homey homey me, I have a vivid definition for the word “ HOME”… It’s a port, and it’s a rest stage..It’s where I gain confidence,where I rest mentally... It’s a place where I can be myself.. It’s a place without any alertness to harms... It makes me realize, who I used to be... And the mistakes that I used to have..
Far away from HOME, the freedom give me the awareness of parental love...

Big boy now.. big big boy..

2010,the late coming wishes from me too all my friends and family..Wishing you a happy new year..a new decade.. today is 3rd of Jan 2010,it’s not too late yet..start with 3,my lucky number...good one..

New year resolution? I have no great ones.. Just a simple wish.I wish to have no regrets in the year ahead..

Friends and buddies,take care...dont look back.. don’t trouble urself with wats laying ahead..start picking up your steps, we will get there somehow…

lots of regards,
Edwin Jing shin
e.spot..